Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Friendly wahala

Have you ever had to wean your friends of a bad habit or change the tune of your friendship? Its the beginning of the year and I have these two friends in view.

Friend 1.(She's actually just one level higher than acquaintance and two levels lower than friend)

This chic owes me money. She specifically asked me to get some stuff for her from America in 2005 which I did. I handed them over October, 2005 and she is yet to finish up with the payment.

Right about after then, she found out that she was pregnant and since the Daddy did not want to be in the picture, she had to carry her burdens herself. Understandably, I thought it best to give her some room. Right? Wrong! To be fair, she paid about half the money in two installments (I always find that a bit confusing) 6 months later.

Well this is January 2007 and I am yet to get the rest of my money. It is not as though I do not see her. I see her at least twice every week, a lot of times, more. Unbidden, she mentioned in November last year that she was going to give me the balance of the money in two installments (more confusion and makes the money really useless for me). I still haven't seen a dime. Meanwhile, I saw her a few days ago and she excitedly told me that she had new pictures of her baby which she wanted to show me. She rifles through her bag and brings out a spanking brand new phone that had the pictures. She has also expanded her wardrobe since that time (I notice these things) and still no money for me.

I do not understand what it is that gives some people the liver to do things like this. Well, I have given myself a week to deal with the issue. I had better be seeing my money this month.

Friend 2. (My very good friend who I thoroughly love to bits)

This is actually a very good friend of mine who I believe has decided to abuse a privilege. Brief story: I started working before her and so have a bit more money to play around with. I also, by dint of my job get a fair bit of "credit" on my phone each month. It's also a business-plan line so my call tariffs are lower than pay-as-you-go.

Okay, so as a good friend, everytime she calls me, I cut off the call and call her back so that she does not spend any money calling me. Good of me? Nope! Apparently bad.

Not long ago, my younger brother was using my phone and perhaps picked up her call as it came in because he had just pressed the YES button to send a text when the call came in. She cuts off immediately and when I am given the phone, I call her back. First thing she says to me in clipped tones (read: barely controlled annoyance) is WHO PICKED UP THE PHONE? I calmly inform her that my brother did. She as silent for a few seconds and then she says okay like "it had better be". That was a "huh?'' moment for me.

A week later. I am at work and about to make a call. I press the YES button just as her call comes in again and she cuts of ASAP. I call her back when I am done and the same weird conversation as before plays out. That for me was a deciding factor.

I have since told her that I will not be calling her back and that if she needs to call me, she should know that she will be paying for the call. I really like her and before I would let a few measly naira spoil our relationship, I will nip that in the bud. She's friendly with the family so sometimes flashes me and asks to speak with my sister when I call her back. WTH? Why don't you call my sister or flash her? It's most upsetting when I am at work and have to interrupt what I am doing to call her back only to have her ask to speak to a member of my family.

So, I have dealt with number 2 this week. Will let you know how it goes with number 1.


  1. Aaawww pele honey. I totally feel you on trifling friends - "the bloody sheek of it".

    I've learnt from hard experience now not to mix friends and money. I'll only "lend" a friend money if i can afford to write it off. That way I'm mentally prepared to not get it back and i'm not left hanging if they subsequently dont pay.

    Good luck!

  2. i tot i had issues... with me , business and friendship don't mix... i have a soft heart when it comes to giving, but if i smell a rat, i can be as hard as diamond...

    i feel ur gist... i await the finishing... lol

    blog on!

  3. Wow. Some people do take liberties.

    I used to be called CBN in secondary school because a lot of people deposited money with me and coul dget it at any time [at least I was more reliable than the housemasters when it came to showing up with money].

    Some guys would borrow money, and two weeks later when making my rounds would tell me they have none -- even when they were spending it right under my nose in the school shop. When taking them to task, they usually scream, 'Is it because of 100 naira you're disturbing me like this? Okay, I'll pay you.' In the end, no show...

    And yes, some people do abuse certain privileges. The people who're rudest to us and treat us most nonchalantly are the people we call friends.

  4. If u allow some people they'll owe the molue driver or danfo conductor for 1 month
    There are some people I wont loan money except another friend i.e third party says he/she would pay me at the stipulated time . And there are some people who it better not to sell to because the story would turn to this at the end of the month - I don't use my cheques to pay debt I only use it for my tithe ,i don’t use my ATM card because it makes me spend too much money or I’ll give u the cash tomorrow ~ then tomorrow -- ha ha nigeria too is owing take it easy now ! Imagine and this people earn much more than you do ! a colleague once told me of how she sold a N1000 book and got paid two years after ( in 2 instalments of N500 each year !!!) and that suppose to be ‘ big boy’ (These set of people always never bring cash to the café for food too- their money is always upstairs in the office )
    i have some people i borrowed money towards the end of last year and now it one excuse of account has not been credited , the cheques has not cleared ...... Ok fine at least i know how many days it takes a bank to clear a cheque both within a state and up country there is always something called another day !
    Lastly i got this from my pastor don’t lend out what u can't give -- it helps sometimes but i guess only to family members .
    Friend number two -
    It happens every time especially when people know u always have credit but hey i once told a friend that if u work in bank does that mean i should ask u for money .. I have a very good friend too who has been good to me all she has to do was send me a flash message and I called her back but i just realised that hey at times I’ll call her and she'll just say call me back I’m doing something or call me back later I’m talking to my friend then i thot no way if u can’t send me sms lets chat online and I’m sticking to that if u allow people to shake u above ur wrist u'll find their hands in ur armpit !

  5. I've heard of people scheming to come borrow money from me with the sole intent of not returning it.I've had people ask me for 25 million naira loan WTF? They say it's their own way of getting a share of the National Cake. Shio. I earn a Salary at the end of the month so the most i ever "loan" out is 5,000 naira.And that won't break me.
    They hate it but ..shoot me.Bombaclaats.

  6. Loving your blog more and more oh!! This friendly wahala shaaaa I must say we all go thru it in different forms...and weaning some out is the key in 2007 lol

  7. Money matters!! *SIGH* Some people are just terrible when it comes to money and owing debts. Infact I think some of them do it purposely to punish you by paying back in little bits and pieces that would make little or no sense at all. The worst is that you will still see them splashing money about on other things. I remember when I used to sell some jewellery, one lady actually told me that my money was the least of her problems that she was thinking of how to buy ticket and travel. (And the cost of the jewellery was much less than that of the ticket.) I quietly left her and even though she late rpaid pack, I made it a point never to sell anything to her again!

    Friend No 2: You just have to stop being so generous with ur credit. There are various cheap tariffs with a contract phone around. Surely if she is working also, she can afford one? Or she should stick to sending texts alone! Full Stop!

  8. Babaaalaye, are you actually in a position to loan 25 million? wow.

    Friends and their issues,my brother recently moved to the Uk, some his friends whom i met only once or twice call me to ask for money without first asking him, i never really know if they want my money or the money he is suppossedly keeping with me.people are just crazy,really.


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