I work!

A few months ago, my doctor told me that he felt I was suffering from depression and his prescription was that I get a boyfriend. I told y'all about it in this post. I was not about to follow up on his depression theory - maybe because as an African, I believe that there is nothing you can't grin and bear. It may also have been because I felt that I could do nothing to help my boyfriend-less state. You see my life follows a very structured pattern: I go to work and I go home. Sometimes, I go out at the weekends to get my hair done, my eyebrows shaped and un-needed hair waxed. In all that time, I have never been approached by a guy and never felt motivated to approach anyone. I had not been to even the movies for over 3 years. Going to watch a theatre@terra play was just because I wanted to show solidarity to a fellow blogger.

So, my doctor's theory and advice went to that portion of my brain where all things un-important reside. And I continued like a machine to go through the everyday rigors of life >>>>> Until, I got introduced to some dude. The first day we ever interacted, he wanted us to go out for drinks 2 hours later and I almost ran away. I thought he was rushing things...*yes, stupid me*. We ended up going to watch a movie the following day and 2 months later, we are still hanging out, seeing where it goes.

This post is not about him. He is great and all, but this is about me. My major trip about the whole thing is that I work! I work!!! I thought that I could not get with anyone again. Thought I was too disillusioned for marathon texting and 2-hour calls. Grateful that I can make plans for dinner, dancing, a movie, drinks, coffee…and not think that the heavens are going to come crashing down on my head for daring to even think that I can be young and free again.

Reading over what I have written, I admit that it sounds a bit theatrical, but I don’t care! I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I work!!

An Unfortunate Accident

My cousin's driver was taking the children (aged 6 and 4) to school the other morning and was unfortunate to be involved in an accident. He killed someone. A little girl. It was a hit and run.

The details are a bit sketchy but from what I gathered, seconds after the driver realised what had happened, he stepped on the gas and zoomed off with a fleet of motorbikes a.ka. okada racing after him. "Luckily", the roads were free and he was able to out-race them. He eventually got to the house and dropped the children off safely.

I heard this story and after I had gone through a range of emotions, I wondered what had made me so callous about a human being's death. I was sad someone died, anxious that the driver and the children would be caught and certainly would have had jungle justice meted out to them. Relieved that the roads were free and that they were able to get away. If that had been my daughter on the road, I would not have had a different set of emotions. Blinding grief at her death and raging anger that the perp got away. Overall, I was more relieved than anything.

My rational mind would not have minded if the driver got caught and was forced to face the law. However, my Nigerian/Lagos mind that knows how things go knows that if he had been caught. The mob would have burnt the car, given him the devil of all beatings *or even burnt him along with the car* and certainly harmed the children that were in the car with him. At the very least, those children may not have been physically harmed but would not have been able to get home seeing as the driver they were riding with would have been in no state to take them home

I am at a loss as to how to end this post, my feelings and thoughts on the matter are all jumbled up. Jungle justice or saving the lives of 3 people?

Don’t you know that I am a married woman?

An acquaintance came to me to tell me that she was getting married. I was at a loss as to what to say. “Congratulations?” “I am so happy for you?”

It is common knowledge that the groom-to-be beats her openly, cheats on her even more openly and rather than contributing to her living expenses, “borrows” money from her that never gets paid back. Strange as it may seem, he appears to have hit upon a magical formula because this girl wants to “die put” on top of his matter and has now reaped what she thinks is the ultimate prize.

A husband who is anything but.

The right to say to people: “Don’t you know that I am a married woman?”

An MRS, as opposed to us lesser mortals that settle for an MSC or an MBA.

She searched my face keenly, waiting for a response.
I settled for a barely whispered “All the best”.

The latest NEPA/PHCN scam

I have hit upon what I believe to be a scam by our UNfriendly suppliers of power. I stand to be corrected, but I think that the coincidence is a bit much.

About 2 years ago, my friend who lives about 2 streets away from me started coming to my house at irregular intervals to do her ironing, blending and electricity connected thing-a-bobs. Her reason was that NEPA had started a load shedding schedule on their street. The explanation from NEPA went along the lines of the transformer needing servicing and how it was overloaded. The load shedding continued for months until the residents on the street got tired and contributed money which they gave to NEPA officials to fix their ailing transformer. I was not privy to how much was spent but within weeks their transformer was transformed.

Move on to about a year ago. An acquaintance who lives a street away mentioned in passing that they had a load shedding situation going on. Apparently, their transformer needed servicing as well. I caught up with her about 2 months ago and guess what? The street formed an organization and took it upon themselves to contribute about N1, 000,000 for the transformer to be fixed. NEPA officials gave them a ballpark figure for the repairs. It took them a year of levying every flat/house on the street to come up with the money. The very week I ran into her was the week that NEPA had stopped shedding their load. Mere weeks after money had changed hands.

Now here’s the thing. NEPA/PHCN started load shedding on my own street about 3 months ago. I have been made to understand that there is some special oil in the transformer that needs to be changed. Apparently it has not been changed since the ‘70s and now the transformer is unable to carry the load it normally carries. Yaddah yaddah yaddah...

I smell a rat, a fish and a skunk.

PS: Special thanks to the guys at Oyibosonline.com for thinking my post My Life in the Niger Delta worthy of wider readership. I noticed a spike in the number of hits my blog got and traced it back here.

An almost passenger

I was in Surulere the other day and a mad man (complete with matted dreadlocks and a loincloth) was standing near a speed bump. Naturally, as I went over the speed bump, I had to slow down. This guy actually reached out and tried to open the door behind. Luckily all the doors were locked. I was in shock!!

If the door was open, would he have tried to get in the car? Would I have been quick enough to drive off even if it meant losing my door and possibly injuring him? If all of that had failed, what would he have wanted if he managed to get in the car? A ride? Some conversation? Money? Would fellow drivers that witnessed him getting in my car have stopped to help get him out?

The questions are endless. Just so you don’t have to find yourself answering any of these questions anytime in the future, please always lock your doors when you get in your car.

You never know o! E fit be you!