Thursday, May 07, 2009

Heartbreak Hotel

I was watching this video yesterday and laughing.

Laughing at myself and how torn up I was listening to this song a few years ago. Kai! I had memorized the lyrics and could even tell you at what facial expressions followed the words in the video. That song resonated with me, I tell you! An anthem for broken hearts!

At the time, my then boyfriend and I had agreed to part ways amicably partly because he was relocating and we both agreed that there was no way we could sustain a long distance relationship. The agreement was that we would wait until he had left before we moved on to any new relationships. I kept my end of the deal. He went and started an emotional relationship with someone else and that was when the heartbreak set in. Yeah, nothing happened with her (he said, she also said) but I lost weight on top of the matter and was so despondent half the time, I don’t know how I managed to exist. I actually used to feel pressure in my chest, like my heart had broken and the pieces were heavier apart than they had been together.

Now, if you are reading this, permit me to give you a word of advice. Stop fixating, stop worrying. Believe me, it will all pass. The time that you spend wailing, worrying and generally feeling sad will never come back to you to use in some way that is more beneficial so SNAP out of it and get on with the incredible and beautiful business of living. Trust me when I say that you will look back and wonder what the heck was wrong with you. Also, don’t listen to songs like this when you are feeling down in the dumps. You will only sink lower. It is a great song, but listen to it when you can handle it.

To digress a bit: I am not just addressing people that are getting out of relationships. Hopefully even those that are in relationships that are less than adequate will realize that the time is NOW to take a stand as to whether you want to continue in that marriage or that friendship or that relationship or not.

Love yourself and others will love you.

And please change your playlists to songs like the one below that affirm the wonderful person you are!

BTW: My ex-boyfriend apologized several times and we have remained such good friends (more than 8 years down the line) that it is hard to believe that we went through a phase where the very sight of him pleased me as much as it hurt me.


  1. wow..thank you..that's all I will say for now the two words speak for themselves :)

  2. " Stop fixating, stop worrying. Believe me, it will all pass. The time that you spend wailing, worrying and generally feeling sad will never come back to you to use in some way that is more beneficial so SNAP out of it and get on with the incredible and beautiful business of living."


  3. lol....
    ur heart was literally aching u abi?
    dats funny!
    good advice.."love urself and others will love u'

  4. yes oh,one thing i have realized is that eventually,wounds get healed and its sad one can never regain the time wasted on brooding.well said

  5. Nice one though I think wallowing in sadness is just part of the process of getting over someone or something, most important thing i guess is to get over it.

    i used to have my 'sad' songs saved on a tape, cd or computer, lol . . . I confess, i still do.

    You must have really loved the guy for your heart to have ached so.

  6. That's a good one..bad times would always pass.

  7. i think its all part of the process of healing...i feel it is healthy as long as one moves on. time heals all wounds they say

    good to know u r now friends with the ex

  8. @ Adaeze: They do. You are welcome

    @ joicee: You fell me ;)

    @ Gee: LOL! I can laugh with you now. It was not nearly funny then!

    @ Big Heart: Thanks

    @ QMoney: So true!

    @ Mojisola: I am not saying that it is no natural to feel sad. I am only advocating a quicker recovery time. Spending months moping around won’t do any good. Have a good cry and give yourself a month tops to get on with it. You have a sad tape? Oh my word!

    @ Blogoratti: They always do.

    @ Aloted: In fact, thinking about it, I still talk to all of them except one. I was friends first with everyone I ever dated so it is not difficult to retain some sort of friendship with them now. Naturally, we have other people in our lives so we are not as close as we used to be but we are still cool.

  9. totally feel u! i still talk (on and off) with all my exes except one! lol...

    like u said being friends before helps retain a level of cordial relationship with the exes.

  10. ha!! this brings back memories for me too!!! but u know what i know now? heart break is actually physical pain, ur chest really does hurt, its crazy but time really does heal all wounds and u do feel better. i find it weird that its the ex boyfriends that hurt u the most that somehow u still stay good friends with!

  11. Thanks for these videos..

    Brought back some huge huge memories..

  12. Abeg PREACH. Na so I see am o, when you run into these guys who hurt you and you couldn't eat because of them, you see them now and you're like 'what did I even see in this one sef?' or 'I can't believe I pined over you' Life dey funny sha!

  13. @ 36: Yeah, that is weird. I was going to say that maybe they are the ones that CAN hurt you the most because there are such deep feelings between you guys and since those feelings don't go away they translate to some other sort of relationship, in this case friendship. Not sure what I just said makes a lot of sense.

    @ RocNaija: Anytime. I wished you had shared those memories.

    @ Mgbeks: Exactly. Wish I knew I would feel like that when I was pining. Life would have been so much easier.

  14. silly guy
    would have done it do you think?
    now i am not saying you should consider him because that would be crazy


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