Saturday, May 26, 2007

Fashion Unconscious (Part 1)

Me minus the smile

I hardly write anything personal about myself. Not surprising when I think about it as I like to keep my private affairs private. Whatev. Here's a post about me.

I just had the most hilarious/revealing phone call with a guy pal I knew when I was growing up. I don't quite know where to start the story. Starting from the phone conversation may be a little confusing for all ye folks so let me go back a little and give you a little background on my humble self.

I was the sort of child who grew up not wearing trousers. I was clueless fashion wise and I allowed my mom to buy my clothes even up to my University days. I scarcely remember buying anything for myself- even underwear. I really could not care less. My mum would travel to Dubai and sometimes Hong Kong (she bought clothes to retail) and would also get me stuff to wear for lectures. Not all my clothes, mind you, but an uncomfortable percentage way over 60. Try and imagine how I looked wearing mainly mum-approved clothing. To make it even clearer, my mum has only very few funky bones in her body.

For anyone that has followed my blog, you'll also know that I suffer for myopia so I have worn glasses for a long time. Not for me the nice, barely there glasses. They were almost always made of plastic ( I found that I reacted to metal) and at a time, they were red. I remember that pair. I think I was in my 3rd year. A boy in my faculty once told me to get rid of them (he thought he was helping me gain my fashion feet), but on discovering that they were Paloma Picasso, he said reluctantly “perhaps they are manageable". Till today, I do not know if they were the real deal or what I like to call "pirated of the original copy"

Are you forming a picture in your head, yet? Let's move to my walking. I have flat feet and I don't know if this is related, but I throw my feet carelessly when I walk. I could never have been accused of walking gracefully. That would have been a barefaced lie. When I walked, people could tell it was me from miles away. My walk was compounded by the fact that my posture was far from perfect. This already bad posture was made worse, when in a bid to redeem myself somewhat, I bought really small metal frames that I realize now are often used as reading glasses for every day wear. The result was that in order to see my everyday things through my reading glasses, I had to bend forward and peer through it in a certain way. This led to stooped shoulders.

Then I gained weight. Due to a change in my daily diet, I bloomed to 75kg. I dd not see it coming. Just got comments about how I was adding weight and I thought that the whole world was going crazy. I mean, I was still wearing my old clothes. Then one morning, I woke up and tried to wear a top and it was too small. Oh boy, i climbed a scale and found that I had moved from about 62kg to 75kg. It did nothing for my look. Yeah, I lost 5kg in like 2 months but that did not really make any difference. I looked and felt heavy.

At a point, with all the yabs, I started dreaded getting married and falling pregnant as I did not know how on earth I would be able to carry myself. If I couldn't carry myself when it was just me, how was I supposed to manage when I had to carry someone else?

I got a job and flowed in with my "unique" fashion style. This time, I was the one shopping for my own clothes, but it did not make things better. I still had some really terrible combinations. Looking back now, I know that the guys that dated me must really have loved me for the person I am and not the person I looked like. I had some really correct bobos o! Why, the other day, a colleague met one of my ex boyfriends and said "Wow! He's cute- I want to meet him". Hmmm.

Did I forgot to mention that facially, I am really not bad looking? I have an oyinbo (small and straight) nose and good complexion and that just presents the rest of my facial features in a pleasing way.

Fast forward a few years, I got pregnant and slowly, a side of me that I did not know existed, came to light...


  1. I think a pic would suffice before we decide whether you're goog looking or!

    Anywayz, am sorry for gatecrashing. The Nigerian Bloggers are doing a chain sumthn on the 29th on the just concluded and recent political events in 9ja.

    Please, go to The Nigerian Proclamation to get more info.

    Thank you!

  2. Sorry for gate crashing also. There's a link to your blog from one of my friends'site. Well, i have a feeling you don't look a quarter as bad as you made us
    Meanwhile, i'm waiting for the rest of this. Want to know the side of you that you found out when you got pregnant.

  3. hey where's the rest of the story???..hehehe
    wats up with the gate crashing- thought blogs were meant to be read??
    Anyway I also don't think you look as bad as u have painted urself...would be nice to see a pic though;)
    pls o am waiting anxiousily for the rest of the story

  4. LOL>..Waiting for the next part oh...

  5. Will wait for the next part before i comment... Oya Update quick quick

  6. I painted a picture of you and it was actually a cool one...very urban...very unique...nothing wrong with it at all. be you and i guess thats why those guys loved you...cause you were yourself...

    Now with the pregnancy part...i am waiting to hear that story.

  7. I think what you did was go to the extreme in the portrayal of yourself. I bet if we all looked closely, we could paint a similar not so flattering picture of ourselves. It was interesting to read though, and i thought to myself, "the things I could say of laspapi, if I had to do this", you'd be afraid.

  8. all are funny! You don't know the tricks of the trade yet, bah?

    You see, fine people always do that to us not so fine chicks. They paint us the picture of a geek making us feel better that we at least have someone we look better than but then, they make an appearance and BAM!!! It's an effing DAMSEL!

    Don't be surprised if/when you're hit with the picture of a should have been MISS WORLD!

  9. oh i can't wait for the next part.. this post is delightful.. you're so adorable mami(funny enough i also have flat feet.. i never wear flipflops... my feet are one part of my body that i would change if i could) i comletey agree with desola... lol.. you're a hot babe a matter of fact if i had to write a similar story my own go worse pass.. lol... have a great day mami

  10. Hilarious... 36 has a similar post up on hers... I do believe you are not half as bad-booking as you make it out tom be... It's in your head... but I love this post girl... more! more! more!

  11. Can't wait to see where you're going with this.

  12. Home(Lagos)-based bloggers interested in appearing on the National Network programme, New Dawn with Funmi Iyanda, who's a blogger herself, to discuss the blogging phenomenon in Nigeria, on Thursday, June 7, should get in touch with laspapi through his blog or by e-mailing

    ps. Thought I'd show you this

  13. Nice one..abeg come and continue this gist.
    I haven't heard of Paloma Picasso since Naija.

  14. Can't wait for part two. Anyhow Blogville idol competition kicking off soon. check out pinksatin or miss-opeke's blog. Links on my site too.
    Have fun n come out with part two soon!

  15. Ok, where is the concluding part of this post?

  16. Are you for real..could you have had all those flaws? Flat feet, weight gain, nerdy glasses, stooped shoulders etc. haba?


  18. I always enjoy reading your posts because you reveal so much about who you are. It is great that you are in touch with your own physical beauty now that you have had your child and gone back to work.

  19. yep throwing legs about has a lot to do with flat feet..cus i have the same problem..stil working on my chickness factor

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