Here and there

• I have driven so much in the last month (or perhaps its just that I have driven in a whole lot more traffic than I am used to) that I actually now have nightmares about driving. Be that as it may, I still need to get to and from work starting tomorrow for the week ahead.



• I remarked to a friend recently that for power, we practice load shedding in my area. That is, NEPA gives us one day off and three days on. She thought it was a delightful idea until I told her that the way it works out is that for the one day, we can be sure that we will not have any power supply. For the other three days, we cannot be sure we will have any power. For example, today is a day on and there has been no power all day. It was only restored at 7p.m. Here's hoping it will be on all night ( I berra wake up from that dream).



• I just found out that my friend's husband had been physically abusing her. She either hid it well or I just was not discerning enough to see all the signs. The days she "stood me up", the limping, the not looking at people directly. Little did I know that she was struggling to stay alive. Some days he would lock her up in the house. She has left him and has started a new life.



• The rainy season has started and Lagos is muddy, cold, hot and sticky. All at once.The good news is that things are no longer covered in dust. The bad news is that people keep tracking dirt into the house. I miss the dust....



• In roughly 2 minutes, my sister will find out that my daughter has pulled her noise cancelling earphones apart. All hell will be let loose. I am just going to sit here quietly and ride out the storm.
• I have been propositioned by a married man who wants me to be his mistress. He was my "toaster" before he got married less than a year ago (in fact, long before he met his wife). 3 months before he got married: All over me. About 3 months after getting married he started coming on to me again, subtly. 4 months ago, he stopped being subtle. This guy has pictures of his wife plastered all over his phone and has her number saved as "My darling". I wonder how his darling would feel if she found out what he has been up to.
• 
  
• Nepa just took light. It's 9:14pm

On my mind

This is difficult for me to admit, but I am just going to plunge in and do it!
The other day I was watching a movie and there was a couple just doing "couply" things. Looking content and at peace with the world. My reaction would not have been different if I had been sucker punched. I felt a real pain in my gut that gradually moved northward and settled in my heart.

I want a boyfriend. Do I need one? I think I probably do. I have this need to be part of a couple (and yes, that also includes the not so at-peace-with-the world things too). Only thing is, I don't ever get to meet anyone. I go to work, go home. Go for meetings outside of the office, go home. Go for worship on Sundays, go home. I am sure you get the picture.

These days it seems the only way is through the matchmaking antics of friends. I certainly can't just walk up to a guy and tell him that I am interested. My own is as good as finished in Lagos if he turns out to be the sort of jerk who misinterprets that as meaning that you are a desperate maybe even promiscuous girl.

And then because I am a single mother, it is just a tad bit more difficult because a lot of people tend to get put off. And I use the word people because the guy may think nothing of it and then go home and mention that he just met a single mother and his mother, father, brother, friend will advice him against it. This does not bother me as it is a good way of seperating the wheat from the first layer of chaff.

Anyways, I do need to meet someone. Any ideas?

Bad Petrol in circulation

Apparently, there's adulterated/bad petrol in circulation. You put it in your tank and your car just either dies out in motion or refuses to start after it has been parked.

There have been no public announcements/apology from the sellers but one particular marketer has been pinpointed: Mobil. Whatever you do, don't get your petrol from them.

Garages and auto-mechanic workshop are getting swamped with complants and they are all traceable to this petrol. Stallion Motors should be able to corroborate this story seeing as they have a lot of cars to repair because of bad fuel woes.

Mobil, I love you and all but this isn't right. At least call it back from the filling stations and dispose of it. If this was America, you know you would. Otherwise you would almost get sunk by the class action suits.

I am not just talking for the sake of it. My car fell victim and I had to cough up cash I couldn't afford to get it fixed. If I was in America, Mobil will not only be paying for a new car, they would give me something for the emotional trauma I have been through.

'Nuff said.

UPDATE

DPR has traced the importation of this pertrol to Oando and they have been asked to pay damages. I wonder if their share price (which was at 173.00 last week and is now at 244.28) will be affected. Read about it here

Mother of your child

I have a post I have been working on for a few day. I was going to put it up in a few days but tonight I came across this video (watch it here, embedding has been disabled) and decided to blog about it instead. I had never heard the song before. Imagine my surprise when she belted out the words "I'm the mother of your child and you're stuck with me for life".

Stuck? Ah! I literally cringed and shut off the song for a few minutes. However, curiosity got the better of me and I started playing it again. The fact that I was watching the video meant that I did not miss any body language that told me what she really meant as she belted out the words. Let me summarize the unsaid things in song: You had better respect me or else I will use our child to emotionally blackmail you and make you sorry that you ever dissed me.

As a single mother, I feel some of her pain. It is hard to find a single mother who won't. The journey to single motherhood is never an easy one. The acrimony, the pressure from outsiders who do not know half your story but are ever quick to give advice. It is all a bit hellish really. It is made especially worse if there was nothing wrong with the relationship before the baby came along. "...9 ½ months ago I was your boo, ever since our baby’s been born you’ve been acting real brand new . I know what she means by asking for respect, but you don't get it by throwing a lamp at the child's father because you caught him kissing someone else (especially as this child is now about 4years old). Nne, move on.

To use a child you claim to love as a means to punish should never be an option. Moreso, the whole thing about declaring that y'all are stuck together for life is just distasteful and a cry for help. No-one is really stuck to anyone. Not mother to son. Not wife to husband. Not brother to sister. Certainly not mother of child and father of child.

And then at the end of the video, she goes: "Ha. It’s gon rain on your head!". That 's like saying "O e ti mo kan kan" ( Loosely translates to mean: You've not seen anything yet!).

Phone call

My daughter was ill a couple of weeks ago. She’s better now, thank goodness.

Anyways, as is the custom, a few people called to find out how she was doing and all. The call that stands out the most in my mind is one that I received from a colleague.

Brief history on colleague: She has a 6-month old son. She travelled abroad(maybe for the first time) shortly after she had her boy. She is a pleasant and really engaging girl. However, her conversation topics always somehow find their way back to her miraculous delivery, her son and her trip abroad. It’s okay when you first meet her, but gets really tiring in short bit. I no longer ask after her son, because I do not want to get 2 minute responses that do not have any bearing on his real welfare.

Here’s a typical scenario: How is Dipo? Normal person will respond: He is well/ He is feeling a bit down.

Her? Nooooooo! A typical answer would be: “He was awake when I left o! He was standing on his bed and cooing at me while I got dressed. I kept playing with him as I got dressed and when I finally had to leave, he looked so sad. I am going to miss him! You know these children are wonderful. They really do know who their mothers are and there is an instant bond.”
On a day when she is feeling extra chatty, she will mention the fact that he has heat rashes as a result of the lack of electricity to power the fans. And how if they were abroad this would not be the case. Then she would remind you that she is planning to travel soon. Once, I asked when exactly she was planning on travelling. "December", she replied. That is soon? Okay o!

Anyway, the phone call went this way:

Me: Hello?
CO: This is CO.
Me: Oh, hi CO!
CO: How is your baby? Heard she was ill. And thought that I should all to find out how she’s doing.
Me: Oh, she’s a lot better now. Thank you.
CO: That’s good. Remember those rashes I told you that Dipo has?
Me: Yes.
CO: Some more have popped up around other parts of his body.
Me: Really? Have you completed his antibiotics dose? (Naturally, she keeps me abreast of her son’s medical history).
CO: Yes o! Maybe that is what is causing all the rashes to come out. The drug may be working that way.
Me: It is a possibility.
CO: If it is not rashes today, it is fever tomorrow. I am just really lucky that he is such a strong boy…………

She went on for maybe another minute. I cannot say I remember all she said, but she did not ever go back to the subject at hand which was supposed to be my daughter. After talking about her son for a bit, she then ended a call without mentioning my daughter again.

A most amusing condolence call.