Who is 1st? Who is 2nd?

This post was inspired by this one.

When I was younger, my older cousin introduced me to a friend of hers. Let’s call the friend Patience. Patience had an interesting story. Apparently she was a second wife. I had never seen one of those up close (LOL!) and I was curious to know what would make someone who was such a knock-out become a 2nd wife.

Patience dated Ade (another pseudonym) for about 8 years. They started dating when they were in Uni and kept dating after they both left and started working. Naturally they started talking about getting married and that was when the problem started.

You see, Ade was from a noveau riche home and his family was a lot richer than Patience’s old money, aristocratic one. His mother was a dedicated social climber. The sort of woman who on meeting you would ask you who your parents were. She had grand dreams of marrying off her children to only those that were fantastically richer than they were. Think Christopher Getty and Pia Miller. Clearly, Patience did not cut it so Mother dearest refused to sanction the union. She did not just stop there, she started fixing Ade up with other more suitable brides.

Ade struggled against this and swore to stick by Patience. The struggle lasted about 3years and then Ade married one of the “suitable” brides and started a family with her. He did not however stop dating Patience and he ensured that everyone (including his new wife) knew this.

3 years after that wedding, his mother died. Less than 2 months later, Ade married Patience and started a family with her as well. He did not get a divorce from his other wife. I do not know what the state of that marriage was, but at the time of this story, he had gotten a house with Patience and was living there with her and going to his other house from time to time.

In this case, who really is the first wife and who is the second? Was Patience wrong for marrying a married man? Are there really only black and white areas to this story? No grays?

Where are they now?

Having gone to uni at Lagos State University, I have had more than my fair share of run-in with cult boys. In one case, I was threatened directly with a burning ( he said he would burn my face with his cigarette and went on to try an "obtain" from me for at least 6 months after that).

Other times during class hours, I would hear the loud report of gun shots and take my position under the closest table. An occurence at night? Well that's a long story. Let me share one of many stories:

There was a time when I was reading in school overnight and there was a show ( Miss LASU) going on in school. I only heard (not saw) someone run to the hall and shout “Get out! Get out!" before the entire class emptied out. A classmate who had spent all night sleeping was the first out of the hall. LOL!

I almost fell on my way out but saw a flash of yellow as someone wearing that color shirt helped me up. I did not even look round to say thank you, so intent was I on reaching the exit. I still do not know who it was till today.

Lagos State University had no hostels /dormitories (I don't know if that has changed now) so we ran to the staff quarters. Luckily my friends and I knew a boy who lived in the BQ of the staff quarters so we all crammed into his tiny room - quietly sitting wherever we could, hugging our knees. This was at about 2 a.m. For hours after, the normal night silence was punctuated with the loud tut-tut of gun shots, For about an hour after we got in, people would come up to the door and knock but no-one opened the door. It was either you they were actually people in need or people that wanted to bring the "party" to our hide-out. There was no way of knowing so we played it safe. I still pray that we did not unknowingly leave out anyone that actually needed help.

By about 5a.m, the gun shots finally stopped. We did not leave the room until we saw people walking around. By this time, the damage that had been done was unspeakable, a few people lay around, dead. There was a boy’s body in a ditch near the Engineering department where I was to write a test at 7a.m that morning. Naturally the test was cancelled. Heck, the school was shut down. We also learned that a lot of girls were raped that night while trying to flee from the show venue where it all started.

Apart from the odd sightings of former cult boys running along side some politician’s car (In the capacity of official security detail), I wondered whether they ever amounted to much.

The other day while talking to a few colleagues, the conversation turned to cultism. There were a few boys in the group and one mentioned something that sounded a bit too knowledgeable. We all turned to him as one. After a few minutes he admitted that he used to be a member of a cult and told us that he was left with no choice…it was either that or die. Well, he chose not to die. If he ever killed anyone, I don’t know but for the 4 years I have known him, I would have described him to anyone as a very pleasant and unassuming guy. We even call him guy smiley at work to show you just how pleasant he is. So yep, they live and work amongst us. Hmmm.

London Buki

I was going to post something today but then I learnt of the passing of our own London Buki's mum and suddenly my post seems hollow and full of platitudes.

I dedicate the day to her and her mum.